Layman's Dictionary Of Medical Terms


Anti-Body : against everyone

Artery : study of paintings

Bandages : The Rolling Stones

Bacteria : back door to a cafeteria

Barium : what to do when treatment fails (Bury em)

Botulism : tendency to make mistakes

Bowel : letters lik A E I O or U

Caesarean Section : a district in Rome

Cardiology : advanced study of card games.

Cat Scan : searching for ones lost kitty

Cauterize : made eye contact with her

Coma : punctuation mark

Congenital : friendly

Cortisone : the local courthouse

Dilate : to live long (die late)

Enteritis : a penchant for burglary

Genes : blue denim slacks

Hangnail :coat hook

Hemorrhoid : a male From outer space

Herpes : what women do in the Ladies Room

Hormones : what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

ICU : Caught you

Labor Pain : hurt at work

Medical Staff : a doctor's cane

Minor Operation: coal digging

Morbid : a higher bid

Nitrate : cheaper than the Day Rate

Node: was aware of (knowed)

Organ transplant : what you do to your piano when you move

Organic : organ repairman

Outpatient : a person who has fainted

Pathological : a reasonable way to go (logical path)

Pharmacist : person who makes a living dealing in agriculture (farm assist)

Post-Operative : a letter carrier

Protein : in favor of young people (pro-teen)

Recovery : Room place to upholster furniture

Red blood count : Dracula

Saline : where you go on your boyfriend's boat (sailing)

Secretion : hiding something

Surgery : a reason to get an uninterruptible power supply (surge-surgery)

Sterile solution : not using the elevator during a fire

Tablet : a small table

Terminal Illness :getting sick at the airport terminal

Tibia : country in North Africa

Tumor : an extra pair (two more)

Varicose : nearby (very close)

Urine : opposite of "You're Out" !


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